Between Heartbeats and hard hats

Seen

We arrived at the circuit, and there were already a lot of people waiting. When they saw me, the crowd suddenly cheered louder. Seriously, it's still the same—nothing has changed. It's really different when you're good-looking. I just laughed; people really say all sorts of things.

"Yan si Ashton, pre, yung makakalaban mo," sabi ni Jero nung nakita niya si Ashton na tumingin sa amin.

Mga tinginan pa lang, mayabang na. 'Wag ka masyadong mayabang, baka umuwi kang umiiyak.' I think he is so yabang that he thinks panalo na agad siya.

"Malaki ang pustahan, pre," Jaype said, natuwang-tuwa sa pustahan.

"Magkano daw?" Kung malaki, mabibili ko na yung gusto ng princess ko.

"I think 20K?" Nike said habang chine-check niya yung phone niya kung magkano talaga ang pusta.

"20K? Maliit lang. Mga napanalunan ko mas malaki pa dyan sa 20K na yan. Kayo na lang ang lumaban dyan, hahanap na lang ako ng kalaban na mas malaki ang pusta."

Paalis na sana ako nang tawagin ulit ako ni Nike.

"Den, wait."

"What? Wrong info nakuha mo? Ano?"

"Sorry pre, 40K to 50K daw kapag naka-two panalo."

"Malaki nga. Okay, ako na makikipaglaro dyan. Mag-ready na siya, dalawang sunod siyang matatalo," ngisi ko.

"Tara na, mag-start na daw. Nandoon na si Ashton."

Good luck to me, makukuha ko yang 50K na 'to. "Kaya baby, sige galingan mo." Tindigan pa lang talaga nito, grabe na manghusga.

"Zayden, right? Hi, Ashton," he said and extended his hand.

"Yeah, good luck. Nice meeting you."

"Good luck."

The crowd was so loud when I arrived at the circuit, but the moment I put my helmet on, everything felt distant. Parang ako na lang at ang race ang natira sa mundo.

I climbed onto my bike and immediately spotted Ashton across the track. Nakasandal lang siya sa motor niya, looking way too relaxed for someone who's about to race me.

When he caught me staring, he smirked.

"Ready to lose?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sobrang aga mo naman mag-celebrate."

"Confidence lang."

"Mayabang ka talaga," I muttered.

"I heard that."

"Good."

A laugh escaped him before he put on his helmet.

The official raised his flag and the starting lights lit up one by one.

My grip tightened around the throttle.

'Ito na. Walang atrasan.'

Red.

Red.

Red.

Red.

Red.

Then—

Green.

The bikes shot forward.

The wind hit hard as we raced side by side, neither of us willing to back down.

Ashton glanced at me for a second.

"You're slower than I thought."

I laughed.

"And you're more annoying than I thought."

"Masakit 'yon ah."

"Good."

For the next few laps, we kept fighting for the lead. Every time I got ahead, Ashton would somehow catch up. Every time he tried to pass, I'd block him.

'Bwisit na bwisit na talaga ako sa kanya.'

The final lap came faster than I expected.

Ashton was still right behind me.

Still close.

Still talking.

"Don't mess up now!"

I shook my head and grinned beneath my helmet.

"Focus on your own race, Ashton."

Then I twisted the throttle harder.

One lap.

One winner.

And I had no plans of finishing second.

Pagkatapos ng racing na 'yun, nagpaalam na ako kila Jero dahil hinahanap na ako ni ermat. Ang little princess ko gusto raw ako katabi matulog, and bukas after class ko, dadalhin ko siya sa mall.

Pagdating ko sa bahay, nakita ko si ermat sa sala, kasama ang princess na nagbabasa. Nang makita niya ako, bigla siyang tumakbo papunta sa'kin at kumandong agad.

"Hi, my little princess," sabi ko habang hinalikan ko siya sa forehead at cheeks niya.

"Kuya, can I sweep in your room pwease? I wanna stay by your side. I'm scawed of my room. My classmates said there's a mons-ter there. So scawy!" She said with a puppy's eyes. 

"Okay, you can sleep in my room. But what your classmates said isn't true, okay? Don't believe them."

"Okay, Kuya! So let's go, let's go!" masigla pa rin siya, akala ko matutulog na siya agad.

"I'm going to shower, baby. Go muna kay Mommy, okay?"

Tumango siya bago tumakbo papunta kay Mommy.

"Mi, shower lang po ako," sabi ko.

"Sige nak, alam mo kanina ka pa niya hinihintay," sabi ni Mommy habang lumapit at piningot ako. "At ikaw, nag-racing ka na naman."

"Mi, masakit!" reklamo ko. "Zen, si Mommy sinasaktan si Kuya!"

"Mommy, why did you hurt Kuya? It's ouch po," singit ng princess ko.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Your Kuya is strong," sagot ni Mommy habang tumatawa pa.

Tunay nga... malakas naman ako, pero grabe pa rin si Mommy mang-asar.

"Mag-ingat ka rin," sabi niya bigla, tono niya medyo seryoso na. "Hindi kita pinagbabawalan, but please be safe. Nag-aalala lang ako, anak."

Alam ko 'yon. Ayaw lang niya maulit yung nangyari dati. Kaya ganun siya ka-protective sa'min.

"I know, Mi. Don't worry, I'm okay," sabi ko habang niyakap siya sandali. "Mag-shower na po ako."

Pag-akyat ko sa taas, dumiretso ako sa room ko at naligo.

When I was done, kinuha ko phone ko para i-check kung may reply na ba yung guy na nag-spill ng coffee sa white uniform ko.

@phnx.za

Hi.

I'm Zayden Phoenix, the person whose white uniform 

you accidentally spilled coffee on earlier.

I just wanted to return your hoodie.

Reply if you see this. We can meet whenever you're free.
Seen.

He saw my message but didn't reply. Bro, don't you want back your hoodie? I'm Zayden—the only top student in the Nursing dept—and you saw me and still no reply?

What the f*ck, bro.

Bahala ka, edi 'wag mo kunin. 'Wag ka rin mag-reply.
Ano ba 'tong kinakagalit ko? Kung ayaw niya, edi 'wag. Simple lang naman yun.

Natigil ako nang may kumatok sa pinto ko.

"Kuya, are you done?"

"Yes baby, come here. Are you sleepy? Or do you want to watch your favorite cartoons?"

"I'm sleepy, Kuya. Can you sing for me?" she said while smiling.

"Okay, lie down and I'll sing for you."

Sumunod siya and niyakap ako. Ang song na gusto nya ay you and me by lifehouse

"What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up
And I can't back down
I've been losing so much time..."

Habang kinakanta ko 'yun at pinagmamasdan siya, daming pumasok na alaala sakin.

Mga nangyari nang gabing yun

"'Cause it's you and me,
And all of the people
With nothing to do,
Nothing to lose.
And it's you and me,
And all of the people,
And I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you..."

I love you so much. You and Mommy are all I have left. I hope these thoughts in my head disappear soon. I want to focus on you, my little princess.

"All of the things
That I want to say
Just aren't coming out right.
I'm tripping on words,
You've got my head spinning.
I don't know where to go from here..."

I didn't realize she had already fallen asleep.

Carefully, I adjusted her blanket and made sure she was comfortable before walking to my study table.

I still needed to review tomorrow's lesson since we had a quiz in class.

I spent quite a while studying.

When I finally checked the time, it was already midnight.
I grabbed my phone and opened our chat again.
If he still doesn't reply after this, then I seriously don't know anymore.

@phnx.za

Hi.

I'm Zayden Phoenix, the person whose white uniform 

you accidentally spilled coffee on earlier.

I just wanted to return your hoodie.

Reply if you see this. We can meet whenever you're free.
Seen.

Hi it's me again, have you really seen my message  and not replying to my message.
Seen.

My eyes twitched.

Again.

Seen.

Just seen.

No reply.

No explanation.

Nothing.

I dropped my phone on the table and groaned in frustration.

"Are you kidding me right now?"

What kind of person reads someone's messages twice and still doesn't bother replying?

Whatever.

If he doesn't want his hoodie back, then that's his problem.
But if I ever see him on campus, I'm shoving this hoodie straight into his hands.
Unfortunately, the hoodie wasn't even with me.
I left it at my condo.

Great.

I sighed and picked up my phone one last time. The chat remained open.

Then suddenly—

@phnx.za

Hi it's me again, have you really seen my message  and not replying to my message.
Seen.

@l.s.valkor
Typing.....