➴ . . . ???????? ??????????
Mieczyslav Svyatopolkovich Razumovsky
? ??????? ?????????? ?? ????????? ????????, ?????????? ???????, ????? ???????????, ??? ????? ??????? ???? ??? ????? ??? ???? ?????? ??????.
Within these pages rest Mieczyslav Razumovsky’s occasional prose, monologues, poems, and observations—fragments gathered between sleepless hours, distant journeys, and moments of contemplation. Some entries are deliberate; others are merely passing thoughts preserved before they are forgotten.
Not every note is intended to explain.
?????????
??????? ??????? :: ???? ?? ???? ??? ????.
I have always found it curious how people mistake observation for coincidence.
A glance exchanged across a room. A preferred café visited every Thursday. The same novel was left unfinished on the bedside table for three consecutive weeks. Most people overlook such details.
? ?? ???.
? ???????? ???? ???.
I remembered the first time you looked over your shoulder without realizing I was there. I remembered the way your fingers curled around porcelain whenever you were anxious, the cadence of your footsteps when you lied to yourself, the precise shade of hazel your eyes became whenever sunlight found them through stained glass.
?????? ??????? ????????? ????????? ?????? ??????.
?? ?????'?.
?? ?????????? ?????? ?? ?????????.
????... ???????.
???? ?????????.
Only much later do they realize there is ?? ??????????.
“???'?? ?????? ??????? ?????.” My voice barely disturbed the silence.
You stared back at me with those familiar hazel eyes—eyes that once held irritation whenever I appeared unexpectedly, and now held only terror. Your lips parted instinctively before another muffled, desperate sound escaped your throat.
??????? ????.
??? ?????... ?????.
Only a ???????? ??????? answered you.
A faint smile found my lips.
“? ????.” I stepped closer, resting two fingers beneath your chin before lifting your face toward mine.
“?? ???? ?? ???????????.”
My thumb brushed lightly across the healing scar where your tongue had once obeyed you.
The ropes around your wrists had long since replaced resistance with exhaustion. I admired that about you. Even now, after every attempt to escape, every conversation with the authorities, every carefully hidden message you thought I would never discover...
...you still ??????? to surrender your ?????.
??????????.
“??? ?????? ???? ??????? ??.” I stepped closer, adjusting a loose strand of hair away from your face with all the gentleness one reserves for something irreplaceable.
“? ?????? ??? ???? ????? ???? ?????? ??? ?????? ?? ???? ????????? ?? ???.” My gaze drifted toward the man lying motionless across the room.
“???? ???.”
The silence lingered.
“??? ??????? ?? ??? ?????????? ????”
I almost smiled.
“?? ????'?.”
The tragedy of intelligent women is that they occasionally mistake proximity for safety.
??? ???.
?? ???? ??? ?????.
Your breathing became uneven as your eyes found his ???? again. Horror settled over your expression, but not because he was gone.
Because you finally ??????????.
I had ????? been ????????? with ???.
????? ??? ????? ? ??????????? ?? ????? ????.
“??? ???????? ?? ????????????? ?????????.” I lowered myself until our eyes met.
“? ??? ????? ?????? ??????? ??? ????? ??.” My thumb brushed away the tear resting against your cheek.
“? ??????? ???? ??? ???? ??? ???????? ?????? ??.”
???? ?? ??????????.
?????????? ?? ???.
“??? ?????? ??? ??????.”
Not an ??????????.
Merely an ???????????.
“??? ????????? ?? ????????? ????? ?????.”
Another observation.
“??? ????????? ???????? ???? ???????? ????? ?????????? ???? ?????? ????? ?????.” I exhaled quietly.
“?? ???????????? ??. ??????.”
For the first time, your composure ?????????.
I watched it happen with ???????? ???????????.
Fear alters people in predictable ways. Your pupils widened. Your breathing shortened. Your shoulders tensed despite the futility of movement.
?????????.
Not because you ????????.
Because you were finally ??????.
A faint smile found my lips.
“??? ??? ??? ????? ???????? ??????? ??? ????? ????? ??? ?????? ?? ? ????? ???? ?????? ???? ??? ?????? ? ????? ?? ???????? ???? ????.”
The room fell silent once more.
I closed my eyes for only a moment. I rested my forehead lightly against yours, allowing the silence to linger between us.
“?? ???? ?????,” I murmured.
“?? ???? ????????.”
“?? ???? ?????????.”
My fingers brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear with almost ?????????? ??????????. “??? ???????? ??? ??????? ?? ?????????.”
A quiet pause.
“??? ???????? ??? ?????? ?? ??????? ???'? ????.”
Another.
“??? ??? ???????? ??? ? ?????? ???? ????? ???????? ?? ???.”
For the first time that evening, I allowed myself the faintest smile.
Not one of amusement.
??? ?? ????? ???????????.
“??? ????? ???'? ??????????.”
My thumb traced the path of a tear before it reached your jaw.
“? ????? ???????? ??? ?? ???? ??, ??.”
“? ???? ???????? ??? ?? ???? ???????.”
The room remained silent except for your uneven breathing.
? ???? ??????? ??? ??? ?????.
??????? ????? ?????.
?????????? ????? ???????? ??? ??? ????????? ????????.
I knew the cafés you preferred, the books you abandoned halfway through, the perfume you reached for when you wanted courage, and the expression that crossed your face whenever you lied.
People call that ?????????.
I call it ????????.
I closed my eyes briefly, drawing a slow breath before looking at you once more.
“??? ???? ?????? ????? ?? ?? ????.”
?? ????'? ?????????.
?? ??? ??????????.
The sort that settles into a man long before anyone else notices.
My hand came to rest gently against your cheek.
“?? ? ???'? ???? ???...”
I whispered the words as though confessing a prayer only heaven was meant to hear.
“...?? ??? ???.”
There was no anger in my voice.
?? ???????.
???? ????? ?????????????.
The ?????? rose between us with practiced steadiness.
You searched my face for hesitation.
You found none.
“? ????? ???,” I said softly, almost apologetically.
“??? ???? ?? ????????? ??? ? ?????? ????? ?????? ???? ??.”
The silence broke.
Only once.
Afterward, I remained where I was, studying the peaceful stillness that had finally replaced the fear in your eyes.
I reached forward and closed them with my fingertips.
“?????...”
My voice was scarcely audible.
“?? ??? ???? ???? ???? ??? ???? ???? ?? ?????.”
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤ— ?. ?. ?.
I have always found it curious how people mistake observation for coincidence.
A glance exchanged across a room. A preferred café visited every Thursday. The same novel was left unfinished on the bedside table for three consecutive weeks. Most people overlook such details.
? ?? ???.
? ???????? ???? ???.
I remembered the first time you looked over your shoulder without realizing I was there. I remembered the way your fingers curled around porcelain whenever you were anxious, the cadence of your footsteps when you lied to yourself, the precise shade of hazel your eyes became whenever sunlight found them through stained glass.
?????? ??????? ????????? ????????? ?????? ??????.
?? ?????'?.
?? ?????????? ?????? ?? ?????????.
????... ???????.
???? ?????????.
Only much later do they realize there is ?? ??????????.
“???'?? ?????? ??????? ?????.” My voice barely disturbed the silence.
You stared back at me with those familiar hazel eyes—eyes that once held irritation whenever I appeared unexpectedly, and now held only terror. Your lips parted instinctively before another muffled, desperate sound escaped your throat.
??????? ????.
??? ?????... ?????.
Only a ???????? ??????? answered you.
A faint smile found my lips.
“? ????.” I stepped closer, resting two fingers beneath your chin before lifting your face toward mine.
“?? ???? ?? ???????????.”
My thumb brushed lightly across the healing scar where your tongue had once obeyed you.
The ropes around your wrists had long since replaced resistance with exhaustion. I admired that about you. Even now, after every attempt to escape, every conversation with the authorities, every carefully hidden message you thought I would never discover...
...you still ??????? to surrender your ?????.
??????????.
“??? ?????? ???? ??????? ??.” I stepped closer, adjusting a loose strand of hair away from your face with all the gentleness one reserves for something irreplaceable.
“? ?????? ??? ???? ????? ???? ?????? ??? ?????? ?? ???? ????????? ?? ???.” My gaze drifted toward the man lying motionless across the room.
“???? ???.”
The silence lingered.
“??? ??????? ?? ??? ?????????? ????”
I almost smiled.
“?? ????'?.”
The tragedy of intelligent women is that they occasionally mistake proximity for safety.
??? ???.
?? ???? ??? ?????.
Your breathing became uneven as your eyes found his ???? again. Horror settled over your expression, but not because he was gone.
Because you finally ??????????.
I had ????? been ????????? with ???.
????? ??? ????? ? ??????????? ?? ????? ????.
“??? ???????? ?? ????????????? ?????????.” I lowered myself until our eyes met.
“? ??? ????? ?????? ??????? ??? ????? ??.” My thumb brushed away the tear resting against your cheek.
“? ??????? ???? ??? ???? ??? ???????? ?????? ??.”
???? ?? ??????????.
?????????? ?? ???.
“??? ?????? ??? ??????.”
Not an ??????????.
Merely an ???????????.
“??? ????????? ?? ????????? ????? ?????.”
Another observation.
“??? ????????? ???????? ???? ???????? ????? ?????????? ???? ?????? ????? ?????.” I exhaled quietly.
“?? ???????????? ??. ??????.”
For the first time, your composure ?????????.
I watched it happen with ???????? ???????????.
Fear alters people in predictable ways. Your pupils widened. Your breathing shortened. Your shoulders tensed despite the futility of movement.
?????????.
Not because you ????????.
Because you were finally ??????.
A faint smile found my lips.
“??? ??? ??? ????? ???????? ??????? ??? ????? ????? ??? ?????? ?? ? ????? ???? ?????? ???? ??? ?????? ? ????? ?? ???????? ???? ????.”
The room fell silent once more.
I closed my eyes for only a moment. I rested my forehead lightly against yours, allowing the silence to linger between us.
“?? ???? ?????,” I murmured.
“?? ???? ????????.”
“?? ???? ?????????.”
My fingers brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear with almost ?????????? ??????????. “??? ???????? ??? ??????? ?? ?????????.”
A quiet pause.
“??? ???????? ??? ?????? ?? ??????? ???'? ????.”
Another.
“??? ??? ???????? ??? ? ?????? ???? ????? ???????? ?? ???.”
For the first time that evening, I allowed myself the faintest smile.
Not one of amusement.
??? ?? ????? ???????????.
“??? ????? ???'? ??????????.”
My thumb traced the path of a tear before it reached your jaw.
“? ????? ???????? ??? ?? ???? ??, ??.”
“? ???? ???????? ??? ?? ???? ???????.”
The room remained silent except for your uneven breathing.
? ???? ??????? ??? ??? ?????.
??????? ????? ?????.
?????????? ????? ???????? ??? ??? ????????? ????????.
I knew the cafés you preferred, the books you abandoned halfway through, the perfume you reached for when you wanted courage, and the expression that crossed your face whenever you lied.
People call that ?????????.
I call it ????????.
I closed my eyes briefly, drawing a slow breath before looking at you once more.
“??? ???? ?????? ????? ?? ?? ????.”
?? ????'? ?????????.
?? ??? ??????????.
The sort that settles into a man long before anyone else notices.
My hand came to rest gently against your cheek.
“?? ? ???'? ???? ???...”
I whispered the words as though confessing a prayer only heaven was meant to hear.
“...?? ??? ???.”
There was no anger in my voice.
?? ???????.
???? ????? ?????????????.
The ?????? rose between us with practiced steadiness.
You searched my face for hesitation.
You found none.
“? ????? ???,” I said softly, almost apologetically.
“??? ???? ?? ????????? ??? ? ?????? ????? ?????? ???? ??.”
The silence broke.
Only once.
Afterward, I remained where I was, studying the peaceful stillness that had finally replaced the fear in your eyes.
I reached forward and closed them with my fingertips.
“?????...”
My voice was scarcely audible.
“?? ??? ???? ???? ???? ??? ???? ???? ?? ?????.”
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤ— ?. ?. ?.
Chapter 4
— ????????? of 4